Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Weekend appreciation post

Never do we realize the importance and value of weekends until we start working 9 to 6 ourselves. and never do we miss the weekends as much as we do on a weeknight. when after a tiring (and most probably irritating) day at work we come home to get rid of the heaviness in our heads, to relax and forget the deadlines to be chased, challenges to be met, only for a few hours so that we could get a peaceful night's sleep.

Today i fell asleep on the bus on my way back from work. i was the last one to get off, one stop farther away from mine so i had to walk back. While i was walking i could only think of two things - how thirsty i was (i'd forgotten my water bottle at the office too) and how desperate i was to fall into the comforts of my bed.
Fall into my bed i did, closed my eyes and wished for the world to stop still for a moment. When i finally mustered the energy to get up i realized that the moment had lasted for half and hour and the world hadn't stopped at all.
After i got myself fed and watered and all, i took up my usual - caught up on my reading, surfing the web for interesting articles and just when i was getting into real mood (y'know.. music blasting in my earphones and looking up book reviews to add more books on my shelf when i'm already behind in my to-read pile, and snacking on various sorts of unhealthy salty snacks etc), a voice in the back of my mind was going on and on about if i don't go to sleep right now - i'll be late to work in the morning and again i'll sleep on the bus on my way back. And then i knew i just had to make a post about how it sucks not to be a weekend how i miss the weekend. ALL THE TIME. EVERY WEEKNIGHT.


Sunday, February 2, 2014

scattered

i've never written my diary in one place. pages of it, you'll find in my old unused notebooks, some entries in the papers i might have been using for rough work when i had the impulse to write. most of my entries are in my actual diary of course that i used to maintain when i had my PC but now since i'm all grown up and working, living away from home and being independent etc i make do with my pen-and-paper-in-flesh diary in which i sometimes i stick cards, make doodles, keep my to-do lists, sometimes my bills too. and then there are the rare records of my thoughts - written, stashed away somewhere and then forgotten only to be found when i'm least expecting them. like the unpublished posts on this blog or the posts tagged 'private' that can only be seen by me. when i read them, it's like a breeze of nostalgia swept on my phase. its a funny feeling when you have your thoughts so solidly staring down at you from a page. like yeah, at some point they existed. and i always read them and in my head can't help telling my past self that it all works out in the end, that the worrying was in vain, that i should take it easy and enjoy every moment. and i wonder how i have eased out of it and have new circumstances and set of challenges and the way i feel about them... like my entire way of thinking has evolved. 

Monday, January 27, 2014

Using bloggeroid for the first time

Let's see how this goes. Lack of a system has lead to this. And I am missing the tap of keyboard :/

^sample image for testing

Thursday, January 23, 2014

New year, new opportunities

i've been MIA for a while. a long while.
there are some things you can't just avoid. like growing up, graduating and then leaving home. i haven't really felt like blogging since i moved out and also because i wasn't able to access blogger too.
so a lot has happened. i spent a few months in bangalore drifting in and out of good days when i was all hopeful and optimistic and bad days when i was anxious about the future. And now i have a job and i'm in pune on my own totally independent and not enjoying it as i had thought at one point i would.
still, with each passing day i'm moving on.. i don't know where but life is moving on. what how and where are the things i can survive without knowing.
So, Happy new year, i hope everyone has a great year ahead and get all the things wished for :)

Monday, May 13, 2013

Guilt and stuff

Endings. There's a thing or two about endings that i'd like to share. Endings are not always about closure. Things are left unsaid and people who meant a lot are left without goodbyes. Things you owed people but never gave, and vice a versa. Like a thread unexpectedly broken.
Even though you'd known all along about this, even though it was meant to happen, even though you'd had moments wishing for this moment. it's finally here and its leaving your throat constricted, melancholy and with a sense of loss. It's the parting where we wished for things to have gone differently. The feeling when you finish a book and long to re-write the whole thing.
Missing all those moments that could have been but didn't happen.
When something ends, it's also paving the way for a new beginning. A blank future staring right ahead, like a blank diary you hold in your hands realizing that you'll have to live what's already written in invisible ink; decided by someone else. Some blanks you fill in, some plot twists you're gonna have to work around.
 But why look ahead until you absolutely have to? Why not take pain and pleasure cocktail in looking at the past that is rapidly dissolving around?
why not be drunk in past?

Thursday, January 3, 2013

A Fresh Start

confession: i am not very good at completing goals. But that doesn't keep me from setting them anyway.

my daily goals: to get myself into a structured routine of getting up on time, eating healthy, spend a scheduled amount of time on computer and going to bed on time.
my monthly goals: to  read a certain number of books and catch up on my studies.
my yearly goals: that is kinda secret ;)

so, despite the fact that i didn't complete most of the goals set by me, i'm willing to make fresh starts (what else is new year's eve for!). maybe, sometimes i ask too much of myself. but the catch is that i get to outdo myself everytime :)

Monday, December 31, 2012

Last post of 2012


The year is closing to an end. It did not go as had thought it would. Time never fails to surprise. I had hoped certain things to go better, which they didn’t and what I hadn’t expected were the few moments of bliss.  I’ll try harder not to expect much from 2013.
As at the end of every year, i reflect back to the last 12 months and things i learnt about myself, people, world, life.

  •  The moments we cherish later in life are mostly those that had taken us by surprise.
  • In order to find happiness I’ve learnt that we need to be away from things that make us unhappy. Like certain people, certain expectations.
  •  Another thing I learnt is to always be thankful for what we have got, even the smallest of things. You just can’t expect everything to be just the way it has always been. Life comes with changes and without any instruction manual to keep up with it. So what we have today might not remain one day. Cherish it.
  • Do not judge yourself from anyone else’s eyes. You are the best judge of yourself. Do not beat yourself over with what somebody else thinks of you. People lead imperfect lives themselves and often their views are distorted, especially of introverts like me. Look for inspiration everywhere and you’ll find nice people too.
  • Mind control – nothing is impossible if you have control over your mind your thoughts. Your life comes into your own hands and you feel the presence of god inside and around yourself.
  • The most dangerous opponent in life is fear.
  • Never let go of hope. Even in the worst of times.


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