tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24479214327000902562023-10-17T17:46:50.135+05:30School of ThoughtThis blog reflects my thoughts on various things ranging from college stuff and fashion trends to social issues and philosophy of life.Ankita Gourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11425787311139084761noreply@blogger.comBlogger107125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2447921432700090256.post-53904642375284208062016-05-23T19:31:00.000+05:302016-05-23T19:31:16.851+05:30Y'all need to watch this<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Its one of the best video i came across recently. I am yet to find better content on relationship with father for our generation Indians.<br />
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Stand up comedian Zakir Khan's 'Papa please preach more' (<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYsrdh15XY8&list=LLFxH1pVF-AU8ht-vsNyD0DQ" target="_blank">Watch it here!</a>)<br />
It is the best because all the emotions are so true to the core and so relatable, it hits home like WHAM.<br />
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I've had my own share of issues with my father while growing up. We don't understand life at that point. But when we grow up and experience life at close quarters, we begin to understand our parents more. Small things they did/do suddenly seem to carry the significance the weight of the world.<br />
My Parents have never failed to fill me with positivity during my good and not so good phases of my life. I owe so much to them.<br />
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Also, you can check out Zakir's another video 'Construction of a joke'. It addresses issues about self image. Very helpful stuff.<br />
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I don't necessarily like all of his jokes but he's definitely got a unique style. Plus he is from Indore so he's a homeboy :)<br />
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Ankita Gourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11425787311139084761noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2447921432700090256.post-83087383958568233352016-05-20T17:56:00.000+05:302016-05-20T17:56:16.809+05:30Street food addiction<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Since childhood, i have survived various sort of addictions. Video game addiction, TV addiction, i'm still an exhaustive book reader (never grew out of that one), online shopping addiction, korean drama addiction and the latest one, which i hadn't even realized: Street food.<br />
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At first it was just a necessity. i mean, who wants to cook dinner after a long, hard day at work? and when there are so many options around...<br />
So, fixing dinner in the kitchen became an occasional event. But eventually when health and weight started taking its toll, i made a resolution to have home made, healthy food only. No eating out.<br />
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That didn't last. And thats when i came to know that i did not like to have dinners at home at all. I have come to love the extra oil and masala that only street vendors can provide. I need my fix every 2 days. Sometimes daily. By now, i don't even want to get rid of comfort food. Drawback being it burns a hole in the pocket. </div>
Ankita Gourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11425787311139084761noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2447921432700090256.post-42228102593670218252016-05-04T07:12:00.000+05:302016-05-04T07:12:11.058+05:30Commitment<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Today, my parents celebrate their 36th marriage anniversary.<br />
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I reminded them yesterday, they are the kinds to forget an anniversary. They smiled for sometime and then went back to their work. Milestones maybe, don't mean much to them.<br />
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The key to being together for so many years is that they take each day as it comes. My father is right now completely on bed and my mother has to take care of his basic chores. It wouldn't have been possible if not for my mum.<br />
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They've held out for so long, hand in hand, during ups and downs, it is amazing. And of course, if you'll ask them its only normal.<br />
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36 years, a couple must have seen everything in this span of time. They've bought up three kids; seen them through their education and employed, seen the marriage of one, birth of a grandson, numerous challenges of life in between. God bless them both.<br />
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<img src="http://ecardcorner.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/wedding-anniversary-wishes-520x245.jpg" /></div>
Ankita Gourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11425787311139084761noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2447921432700090256.post-7009552627503715642016-05-03T10:24:00.000+05:302016-05-03T10:24:24.681+05:30WUT<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Where do we actually find happiness? In work? At home? Among friends? In money?<br />
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I've tried every option above and i did not find happiness anywhere.<br />
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I've had the notion that i would find happiness only in success. But what is success? To achieve a milestone. To be happy.<br />
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It is a weird circle. We are not successful until we are happy, and we are not happy until we are successful.<br />
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Ankita Gourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11425787311139084761noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2447921432700090256.post-87582746826358044012016-04-20T02:20:00.001+05:302016-04-20T02:20:11.965+05:30Instant Achar!!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Shortage of time and need for better can make you stumble upon best of the things on earth.<br />
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These past few days after i've resolved to cook dinners at home and out of respect for my body not just munch and gulp the street food i love so much, as dinner.<br />
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And so starts the journey of whipping up something nice almost every evening with my awesome roomies, and since we are from diverse regional backgrounds, i get to discover wonderful recipes like this one:<br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JZSgVrVysW8/VxaV5SE39iI/AAAAAAAAAkc/_PZvF6UjbvgaBbdIHtM0iS4jgdPE-NuKwCLcB/s1600/IMG_20160417_215909691.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JZSgVrVysW8/VxaV5SE39iI/AAAAAAAAAkc/_PZvF6UjbvgaBbdIHtM0iS4jgdPE-NuKwCLcB/s400/IMG_20160417_215909691.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<b>WHAT YOU NEED:</b><br />
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<li>Raw mango</li>
<li>Cooking oil</li>
<li>Mustard seeds</li>
<li>Sugar n Salt</li>
<li>Turmeric powder </li>
<li>Red chilli powder</li>
<li>An Awesome roommate that gushes with pride and encouragement when you try anything new :)</li>
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<b>NOW WHAT TO DO WITH THESE</b></div>
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<li>Pretend that you are a masterchef contestant to summon the confidence.</li>
<li>Cut up the raw mango into small pieces as shown in the picture.</li>
<li>Heat the cooking oil (about 2 teaspoons) and add mustard seeds.</li>
<li>They must make a crackling sound. If they don't, wait and egg them on until they do.</li>
<li>Add your superbly cut raw mango to the mix. Expect more crackling sound</li>
<li>Stir, stir, stir. </li>
<li> Add a spoonful of sugar. The crystals look beautiful on top before they melt.</li>
<li>Stir a bit and turn off the flame.</li>
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So here's the thing that can instantly improve your dinner of boring khichdi or dal chawal. :)</div>
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It was tangy delicious. Definitely worth trying!!</div>
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Ankita Gourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11425787311139084761noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2447921432700090256.post-1470873195648368812015-12-17T18:25:00.000+05:302015-12-17T18:25:20.335+05:3025<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
No, this isn't an appreciation post for Adele's new album (which it totally deserves, i love that ish but that stuff is for some other time).<br />
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This is for when you turn 25 and look back to what your life has been, what changed you and made you.....<br />
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I'm not a fan of looking back at life. it gets you reminiscing, pining for the old times. In Dumbledore's words<br />
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Nostalgia is a rich emotion but a useless one when life has other pressing needs.<br />
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But 25 years being considered an important milestone, you gotta look back objectively in order to learn from your mistakes. That time is almost over where you had the liberty to make as mistakes you wanted to, take as many risks as you wanted to. in other words, at this point you feel like:<br />
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Shit just got real.<br />
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This is for when you turn 25 and look ahead preparing yourself for unforeseen challenges of this bitch of a life.<br />
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The way i see it, easiest and <strike>prettiest</strike> half of life is over. Now we get to the shitty part where you're gonna have a job, deal with annoying people, get married (ugh) , have kids, take responsibility and shit.<br />
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okay i got carried away in the rant.<br />
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Honestly, i have no idea what other half is going to be like... that scares me. it's like walking in the dark. you have no idea if you're going in the right direction.<br />
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Its not about getting older.. its more about what you've faced so far that decides how squared up you'd be for what comes next.<br />
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So.<br />
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Being 25, wading through life not as much on hopes as much as on Grit, patience and discipline.<br />
Being 25, not judging people and being more understanding because everybody has problems.<br />
Being 25, not letting anyone to get me into thinking that i'm not good enough.<br />
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Happy Birthday to me.</div>
Ankita Gourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11425787311139084761noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2447921432700090256.post-16921781955613071382015-09-28T01:42:00.000+05:302015-09-28T01:42:30.532+05:30Manache Ganapati of Pune<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
5 'Manache' ganapati mandals are part of Ganeshotsav tradition started by Bal Gangadhar Tilak to bring society together as a whole.<br />
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On friday, me and friends visited these pandals amidst pious people packed streets to offer our prayers.<br />
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It was the last day of 10 day ganpati fest and streets were blocked for vehicles and volunteers were in place to manage the human traffic that has poured itself out to get 'darshan' of Lord Ganesha.<br />
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1. Kasaba Ganapati<br />
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We made our way to the first Ganapati of honor.<br />
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2. Jogeshwari </div>
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3. Guruji Talim</div>
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Couldn't take a pic because of the crowd, but we did take a lot of selfies on our way ;)</div>
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4. Tulsibaug<br />
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That was a very impressive pandal..<br />
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5. Kesariwada<br />
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I'm not sure if this was the last one... </div>
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But everywhere we went there was this ambiance of piety and festivity with devotional music playing or chanting of holy prayers. On the streets was fair like frolic and it was just great even though we got a bit tired after so much walking :)</div>
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Ganapati Bappa Morya, Pudchya varshi loukarya!! :) </div>
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Ankita Gourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11425787311139084761noreply@blogger.com1Pune, Maharashtra, India18.5204303 73.85674369999992518.2795358 73.534020199999929 18.7613248 74.17946719999992tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2447921432700090256.post-8288301548030599062015-05-03T23:08:00.000+05:302015-05-03T23:08:34.507+05:30life and times and blah<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Almost half of 2015 has gone already, god knows where i've been! oh yeah, in my cubicle on weekdays and lazing around or shopping on weekends.<br />
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it's like being in a time capsule that has taken me to a future date making me fatter and older in the process.<br />
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Honestly, growing up sucks. All my life my decisions were taken for me by my parents. Even in college i let them do that not knowing that i can actually take charge of my life and whatever happens is going to affect me in the end.<br />
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And now that i know, through living independently for around a year and a half that now my life is my responsibility, decision making has become even more difficult.<br />
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And for a person like me, who's had a bout of anxiety before, this loop of 'what-if's is a whirlpool madness best avoided.<br />
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So what do i do?<br />
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solution 1: put your problems in a bundle and put it away to deal with it later at the back of your mind. then ignore it until it goes away.<br />
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solution 2: Acknowledge everything, try your best to take care of things (this involves dealing with people). Solves the problem but at the end of the day i feel pathetic. (Because people can disappoint you too).<br />
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solution 3: the best way. i'm yet to think of it though.<br />
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And this year i'm also way behind my reading.... Seriously, where is all the time in the world going?!<br />
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Ankita Gourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11425787311139084761noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2447921432700090256.post-22800962604198033082014-08-30T01:44:00.000+05:302014-08-30T01:44:22.841+05:30Woes of online shopping<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
it's too easy and its too convenient. that's it. that's the biggest woe of online shopping.<br />
one doesn't even realise when and how why and ends up spending thousands in it.<br />
i had always thought of myself as being the 'in-control' sort of person where matters of spending were concerned. but i've had a few guilty splurges and i think soon i'll have to change the description as:<br />
'hi, i'm Ankita Gour and i'm a shopaholic.'<br />
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<span style="text-align: left;"> no, its terrible. i cant let it happen.</span></div>
strict times need strict measures. i'm not even going to look anyplace that mentions a discount. discounts are the worst traps.<br />
Also, i'm going to make a list of the things i NEED, and not look over to anything else no matter how much discount it is on.<br />
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<a name='more'></a>PS: i really hope that my parents don't see this. They hadn't really brought me up this way :(<br />
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Ankita Gourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11425787311139084761noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2447921432700090256.post-10057042762917412702014-05-13T23:57:00.000+05:302014-05-13T23:57:05.999+05:30Weekend appreciation post<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Never do we realize the importance and value of weekends until we start working 9 to 6 ourselves. and never do we miss the weekends as much as we do on a weeknight. when after a tiring (and most probably irritating) day at work we come home to get rid of the heaviness in our heads, to relax and forget the deadlines to be chased, challenges to be met, only for a few hours so that we could get a peaceful night's sleep.<br />
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Today i fell asleep on the bus on my way back from work. i was the last one to get off, one stop farther away from mine so i had to walk back. While i was walking i could only think of two things - how thirsty i was (i'd forgotten my water bottle at the office too) and how desperate i was to fall into the comforts of my bed.<br />
Fall into my bed i did, closed my eyes and wished for the world to stop still for a moment. When i finally mustered the energy to get up i realized that the moment had lasted for half and hour and the world hadn't stopped at all.<br />
After i got myself fed and watered and all, i took up my usual - caught up on my reading, surfing the web for interesting articles and just when i was getting into real mood (y'know.. music blasting in my earphones and looking up book reviews to add more books on my shelf when i'm already behind in my to-read pile, and snacking on various sorts of unhealthy salty snacks etc), a voice in the back of my mind was going on and on about if i don't go to sleep right now - i'll be late to work in the morning and again i'll sleep on the bus on my way back. And then i knew i just had to make a post about <strike>how it sucks not to be a weekend</strike> how i miss the weekend. ALL THE TIME. EVERY WEEKNIGHT.<br />
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Ankita Gourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11425787311139084761noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2447921432700090256.post-37350998951129579672014-02-02T00:01:00.001+05:302014-02-02T00:01:47.857+05:30scattered<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
i've never written my diary in one place. pages of it, you'll find in my old unused notebooks, some entries in the papers i might have been using for rough work when i had the impulse to write. most of my entries are in my actual diary of course that i used to maintain when i had my PC but now since i'm all grown up and working, living away from home and being independent etc i make do with my pen-and-paper-in-flesh diary in which i sometimes i stick cards, make doodles, keep my to-do lists, sometimes my bills too. and then there are the rare records of my thoughts - written, stashed away somewhere and then forgotten only to be found when i'm least expecting them. like the unpublished posts on this blog or the posts tagged 'private' that can only be seen by me. when i read them, it's like a breeze of nostalgia swept on my phase. its a funny feeling when you have your thoughts so solidly staring down at you from a page. like yeah, at some point they existed. and i always read them and in my head can't help telling my past self that it all works out in the end, that the worrying was in vain, that i should take it easy and enjoy every moment. and i wonder how i have eased out of it and have new circumstances and set of challenges and the way i feel about them... like my entire way of thinking has evolved. </div>
Ankita Gourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11425787311139084761noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2447921432700090256.post-18357968099549205442014-01-27T21:18:00.001+05:302014-01-27T21:18:56.762+05:30Using bloggeroid for the first time <div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'>Let's <b>see</b> how this goes. Lack of a system has lead to this. And I am missing the tap of keyboard :/<br/>
<a href='https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-9uoFgj00wJ0/UuZ_5XH2EuI/AAAAAAAAAbM/gkOkRWuV6Pg/s2560/1390837672186.jpeg' onblur='try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}'><img border='0' src='https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-9uoFgj00wJ0/UuZ_5XH2EuI/AAAAAAAAAbM/gkOkRWuV6Pg/s288/1390837672186.jpeg' style='display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 162px; height: 288px;'/></a><br/>
^sample image for testing</div>Ankita Gourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11425787311139084761noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2447921432700090256.post-48216531410615908582014-01-23T16:48:00.002+05:302014-01-23T16:48:40.015+05:30New year, new opportunities<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
i've been MIA for a while. a long while. <br />
there are some things you can't just avoid. like growing up, graduating and then leaving home. i haven't really felt like blogging since i moved out and also because i wasn't able to access blogger too. <br />
so a lot has happened. i spent a few months in bangalore drifting in and out of good days when i was all hopeful and optimistic and bad days when i was anxious about the future. And now i have a job and i'm in pune on my own totally independent and not enjoying it as i had thought at one point i would. <br />
still, with each passing day i'm moving on.. i don't know where but life is moving on. what how and where are the things i can survive without knowing.<br />
So, Happy new year, i hope everyone has a great year ahead and get all the things wished for :)</div>
Ankita Gourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11425787311139084761noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2447921432700090256.post-65904964375607248032013-05-13T22:28:00.001+05:302013-05-13T22:28:11.275+05:30Guilt and stuff<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Endings. There's a thing or two about endings that i'd like to share. Endings are not always about closure. Things are left unsaid and people who meant a lot are left without goodbyes. Things you owed people but never gave, and vice a versa. Like a thread unexpectedly broken.<br />
Even though you'd known all along about this, even though it was meant to happen, even though you'd had moments wishing for this moment. it's finally here and its leaving your throat constricted, melancholy and with a sense of loss. It's the parting where we wished for things to have gone differently. The feeling when you finish a book and long to re-write the whole thing.<br />
Missing all those moments that could have been but didn't happen.<br />
When something ends, it's also paving the way for a new beginning. A blank future staring right ahead, like a blank diary you hold in your hands realizing that you'll have to live what's already written in invisible ink; decided by someone else. Some blanks you fill in, some plot twists you're gonna have to work around.<br />
But why look ahead until you absolutely have to? Why not take pain and pleasure cocktail in looking at the past that is rapidly dissolving around?<br />
why not be drunk in past?<br />
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Ankita Gourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11425787311139084761noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2447921432700090256.post-47319667392769848802013-01-03T23:03:00.000+05:302013-01-03T23:03:23.571+05:30A Fresh Start<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
confession: i am not very good at completing goals. But that doesn't keep me from setting them anyway.<br />
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my daily goals: to get myself into a structured routine of getting up on time, eating healthy, spend a scheduled amount of time on computer and going to bed on time.<br />
my monthly goals: to read a certain number of books and catch up on my studies.<br />
my yearly goals: that is kinda secret ;)<br />
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so, despite the fact that i didn't complete most of the goals set by me, i'm willing to make fresh starts (what else is new year's eve for!). maybe, sometimes i ask too much of myself. but the catch is that i get to outdo myself everytime :)</div>
Ankita Gourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11425787311139084761noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2447921432700090256.post-78994092751337730182012-12-31T23:03:00.000+05:302012-12-31T23:03:36.351+05:30Last post of 2012<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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The year is closing to an end. It did not go as had thought it would. Time never fails to surprise. I had hoped certain things to go better, which they didn’t and what I hadn’t expected were the few moments of bliss. I’ll try harder not to expect much from 2013.<br />
As at the end of every year, i reflect back to the last 12 months and things i learnt about myself, people, world, life.<br />
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<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li> The moments we cherish later in life are mostly those that had taken us by surprise.</li>
<li>In order to find
happiness I’ve learnt that we need to be away from things that make us unhappy.
Like certain people, certain expectations.</li>
<li> Another thing I learnt is to always be
thankful for what we have got, even the smallest of things. You just can’t
expect everything to be just the way it has always been. Life comes with
changes and without any instruction manual to keep up with it. So what we have
today might not remain one day. Cherish it.</li>
<li>Do not judge
yourself from anyone else’s eyes. You are the best judge of yourself. Do not
beat yourself over with what somebody else thinks of you. People lead imperfect
lives themselves and often their views are distorted, especially of introverts
like me. Look for inspiration everywhere and you’ll find nice people too.</li>
<li>Mind control –
nothing is impossible if you have control over your mind your thoughts. Your
life comes into your own hands and you feel the presence of god inside and
around yourself.</li>
<li>The most dangerous opponent in life is fear.</li>
<li>Never let go of hope. Even in the worst of times.</li>
</ul>
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Ankita Gourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11425787311139084761noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2447921432700090256.post-60222314002857510482012-12-02T21:08:00.002+05:302012-12-02T21:08:40.848+05:30Locked out<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I know many a people who faced incidents like being locked out of the house or leaving keys in the car etc. i know that feeling. it's maddening. Once, i locked my keys by mistake in my scooty. i had whacked my head several times on that occasion. But even then i had a solution at hand: my backup key at home!<div>
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Now the situation i'm facing is ridiculous and sapping-my-spirits kind of despairing. i am somehow locked out of my social networks.</div>
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i've been able to access gmail and this blog after a lot of hardwork and brain wracking. but facebook, twitter, tumblr: i just can't access the sites that are the reason for me to use internet. With final exams at hand i can't even give time to the problem. And yeah, exams pose a whole different problem together. I used to think Optical fiber communications was an easy subject. what a fool i was. </div>
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I have so many problems AND I CAN'T EVEN RANT ABOUT IT ON TWITTER!!!</div>
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i should go lie down now.</div>
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Ankita Gourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11425787311139084761noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2447921432700090256.post-69064986608931287842012-11-05T23:35:00.000+05:302012-11-05T23:35:23.732+05:30Heist Society<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6574102-heist-society" style="float: left; padding-right: 20px;"><img alt="Heist Society (Heist Society, #1)" border="0" src="http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1348527333m/6574102.jpg" /></a><a href="http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6574102-heist-society">Heist Society</a> by <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/56224.Ally_Carter">Ally Carter</a><br />
My rating: <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/447486620">5 of 5 stars</a><br /><br />
i'm so glad i read this. i crave for thrillers like these. reading it was like savoring an expertly made dish in which no spice, no ingredient was either too much or slightly lacking but in perfect measure for a great taste. even though i'm going through crappy days, this one gave me enough distraction from the real world to survive.<br />
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<a href="http://www.goodreads.com/review/list/3321687-ankita-gour">View all my reviews</a><br />
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Ankita Gourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11425787311139084761noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2447921432700090256.post-27886132986658258212012-10-29T22:25:00.000+05:302012-10-29T22:25:07.454+05:30General update<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
i feel bad every time i go over a month without updating the blog. October; what a month is was! not at all what i expected (and NOT in a good way). there were largely moments of moroseness, reflections, and occasional panic attacks thrown in to make my life more miserable than it usually is.<br />
so, these are the updates (i've tried to think of as many happy ones as possible).<br />
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<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>I <i>finally </i>finished reading 'Atlas Shrugged'. Boy, that John Galt speech was long! The characters, the system, and the world portrayed in the seems to resemble the real world so closely that it's almost depressing.</li>
<li>I read 'Metroland' by Julian Barnes in three days! it was a smooth read. A frank, amusing, philosophical and entertaining narrative that helped lighten my spirits. i'm glad books like this exist to make me feel better. <a name='more'></a></li>
<li>Got my first job rejection.</li>
<li>Drifted away from the few friends i have.</li>
<li>Stopped updating my diary (until now).</li>
<li>Started watching 'Gilmore Girls' (on season 3 now).</li>
<li>Started going on morning walks.</li>
<li>Stopped going on morning walks after 4-5 days.</li>
<li>Became more sensitive and prone to be offended by slightest provocation. </li>
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so, <img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lty2krQBJC1qei95oo1_500.gif" /> you were as bad as this GIF to me.</div>
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Ankita Gourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11425787311139084761noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2447921432700090256.post-23333846895053887582012-09-28T21:48:00.000+05:302012-09-28T21:48:32.653+05:30AAL IZ WELL<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">image source: eastwestdaily.com</td></tr>
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Sometimes we worry too much and unnecessarily. Little bit of worrying is okay and natural, even helpful. It pushes us into action, to do something and take charge of the situation. The problem comes when you start worrying about things you can do nothing about. What i found out while i was dealing with my anxiety issues is that anxiety is nothing but an extreme form of dwelling too much on the future and not living the present moment. We need to understand that we cannot take care of everything beforehand. We can shape only some things in future and some things are out of our control, maybe just bound to happen and we have to take it as it comes. Planning is a great thing but EVERYTHING cannot be planned. Surprising, unsuspecting bitter-sweet moments is what life is all about.<br />
While we deal with our everyday struggle and stress, it doesn't hurt at all to appreciate and enjoy small things in life. Like bright and cool early mornings, dew on leaves, washed out scene after a rain, smell of popcorn before a movie, a favourite shade of nail polish, light conversations with friends, a good hearty meal. Happiness truly lives in moments and we need to catch these moments before they pass if we want to be happy. Carpe diem: seize the day! Because essentially we are SUPPOSED to be happy. <br />
God has put life into us, we can feel, we can marvel at the miracle that is life, at what is out there to see. Who knows what we're missing out when we're cobbled up in our cubbyholes crying about petty issues?<br />
Good things happen and sometimes bad things happen too. But they happen to those who have the nerve to go out there and try stuff. LIFE happens to those who don't keep hiding in their room but face their fears.<br />
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Ultimately you've got to go out there and live or die. <br />
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Are you ready to embrace life?<br />
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i know i am :)<br />
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Ankita Gourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11425787311139084761noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2447921432700090256.post-47739189013327895982012-09-06T21:38:00.001+05:302012-09-06T21:38:35.004+05:30september<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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THANK GOD FOR THAT</div>
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Ankita Gourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11425787311139084761noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2447921432700090256.post-57897903229417614752012-08-12T23:26:00.000+05:302012-08-12T23:26:03.658+05:30Anxiety aka Scared of being Scared<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Relax.Nothing major. But these days i am sort of getting bouts of nervousness now and then <i>for no apparent reason. </i>It has scared me off from stepping out of home or accepting invitations for dinner or take some harmless medication because I'm too paranoid. I become short of breath in the middle of a conversation and my heart starts racing. I'm afraid of getting these symptoms which in turn makes me more anxious when i feel them which in turn makes me more anxious. It's a vicious cycle.<br />
At one point (actually a few days ago) i thought only a psychiatrist can help me now (a consideration my parents refused to take seriously, like, "What rubbish! you are perfectly fine. Just meditate some minutes and concentrate on your studies!") But thank God! i don't feel the need to see a shrink now (thanks to <a href="http://fearmastery.wordpress.com/">this guy</a>) my scary symptoms have subsided somewhat. But i still get really nervous when i go out :-/ It takes times like these to realise how underrated and taken-for-granted normal life is.<br />
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In the dark of night when deep dark thoughts invade the mind at its weakest .. a little voice inside inside me says that maybe i'm going insane.
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Relax. It's what i keep telling/reminding myself. Relax.<br />
<br /></div>Ankita Gourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11425787311139084761noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2447921432700090256.post-63710385667049151832012-08-10T21:05:00.000+05:302012-08-10T21:05:45.021+05:30Blah<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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There was a seminar organised by TCS a while ago in my college. I had jotted down a few things in my notebook and forgotten all about it apparently. But i was going through the notes looking for something else when i stumbled upon this stuff (along with some mysterious looking doodles). I remember nothing of what happened that morning and this is all i have left of that presentation. </div>
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# Get out of <u>comfort</u> zone</div>
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# Don't stop learning</div>
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# Keep stress at bay</div>
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# PANIC: Defy it. Defeat it.</div>
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# Take risks. </div>
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# Filter out what you don't like. </div>
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THE GRID aka THE PERSONAL MISSION STATEMENT</div>
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# "Ego is like a 'cosmetic touch'. it must exist but it must not be shown or seen." (dunno tf that means..)</div>
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# Communication skills are desired like a pickle in in an indian thali. </div>
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</div>Ankita Gourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11425787311139084761noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2447921432700090256.post-43511511867605536722012-07-31T22:25:00.000+05:302012-07-31T22:28:31.329+05:30Bye July<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
i didn't realise until now that this was the last day of july. This month went by so fast. I'd been more distressed than usual this month. This month brought moments of extreme exasperation, tiredness and fuck-this-shit attitude in me. But i also had an amazing time on some rare days. I don't know.. it's been a roller coaster ride for my mood scales.<br />
During the summer i was waiting restlessly for rains to come. i thought they'd bring freshness and breezy pitter patter that sounds almost like music. They did, except it sound really mournful. The absence of sun in the sky certainly didn't raise my spirits. The grey sky seems gloomy. I'm so ready for autumn now.<br />
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But today had been good. All those distressing thoughts kept at bay. In the morning i had mustered every ounce of self reproach to make me go outside and carry on my business with the world. It was hard because i just didn't want to leave my room at all, i was in such a crappy mood. But then i met up with a friend who engaged me in a conversation so entertaining that an hour passed by smoothly without me having any negative thought. From there on i was in a good mood all day :) I know, some friends are just so cool.</div>
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I just hope that August goes by blissfully and hopefully without any mood swings. </div>
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</div>Ankita Gourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11425787311139084761noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2447921432700090256.post-32798342564066660372012-07-13T21:50:00.000+05:302012-07-13T21:50:05.033+05:30IN AND OUT<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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what and why? two most dominating words weighing down my mind at moments of uncertainity.Shit like this always happens and when it does i keep coming back to these questions.<br />
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i've had a lot of phases. Well, basically only 2 phases most of the time. Phase 1: all i wanted to do was to lie in my room wishing the world beyond that door didn't exist or rather i didn't. coexistence seemed intriguing, paradoxical, and just a bit too much. Ever felt like you'd explode? yeah, well been there.Phase 2: Sort of whenever i recover from phase 1; the period of numbness when the wounds aren't as raw and i feel like i can act cool and okay with everything and i start not to sweat things too much, have a ripping time whenever i meet someone. but inevitably it all comes back. i start seeing the ghost of reasons i had chosen, believed to ignore this world. the scab gets rubbed and reels again.<br />
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An that is the story of how my life is pretty much trapped between these two shitty phases. always in out of two dark worlds... its like nothing good ever happens.<br />
can things ever be better than this?<br />
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</div>Ankita Gourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11425787311139084761noreply@blogger.com0